Dear Teachers

Dear Teachers,

How have you been this week? We really hope your week has not been as long as mine.

Or maybe it has been super long because you needed to grade about seventy essays written by your lovely students. In our defense, you assigned it to us– this is all on you.

Here is somewhat of a thesis for this email: Bored students get boring.

And guess what makes us bored. Yes, it is the lack of social life due to the overload of homework that you give every day. It is also the way you just talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk to us about subjects we really do not care enough about. I mean, it is probably good to know your students, considering the fact that you are stuck with us for a whole year and maybe even more for that matter.

You want us to write essays about how George Washington’s eighteenth tear was so significant, about which hair Abraham Lincoln liked the most from his beard, about who first slaughtered an elephant, about when presidents blink four times in a row, about what it means to be a glass sculpture, and so forth.

Yes, these are very interesting prompts. The problems is that those are questions, not prompts. They can barely be answered with a paragraph, let alone an essay. Maybe if you told us the answers to the questions, we would not be so bored and boring anymore. The internet does not exactly have those answers online for us.

Therefore, when you conclude that we are boring through our essays, you must consider two things. One, that was the most creative we have been since the last essay you assigned to us. You make us squeeze everything out of our brains, trying to fill up the minimum word count you give us every time. Two, bored students get boring. And we are boring. Just think about that for a second. Sleep on it, even.

If considering and thinking about that is a bit too hard, you can always listen to us. Just, please, let us voice our opinions. You may think or feel like we do not have anything to say, but we do. Trust me. And it starts with us pleading for you to listen to us.

We would really like to tell you about how your zipper is open and we see your white polka dotted red underwear. We would really like to tell you that your make up looks really great today. We would really like to tell you about how last night’s homework was really hard to do because you did not teach us anything about it. We would really like to tell you that we also like to talk. We would really like to tell you that we actually like writing about things we are interested in.

But you refuse to hear us.

And conclude that we do not have a voice, that we are boring.

All on your own.

But we are students; we don’t have much power, if any at all, in classes.

Oh well.

From your wonderfully boring students. ❤

Word of the Day: shlimazl
(n.) someone who is always unlucky

One thought on “Dear Teachers

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