Rehabilitation

Living with three little sisters who love food as much as I do, eating has always been a competition. For example, when my mother brings out three sausages as a side dish, the tension builds up and the four of us are almost bouncing in our seats by the end of the prayer. And as soon as the word “Amen” is spoken, our chopsticks shoot out, leaving one girl to grieve over their slow speed.

My mother has very fast hands. They are quite useful when she is cooking and cleaning. She also has a very fast mind. Decisions and thoughts are formed quickly. I am also like that. I am quick to think, quick to decide, and quick to get things done. However, there is one thing I just cannot be fast at: writing.

When we have to write something with a time limit during class, I focus fully and only on my writing, barely looking up or being side tracked. However, once the time to write is over and I look up at the person in front of me, the length of the writing on her paper is about twice as long as mine. This confuses me all the time; I was writing the whole entire time, I swear.

Maybe it’s because my handwriting is quite small and crowded together. I usually come up with an excuse to make myself feel better. But there is always the inevitable truth that is nagging at the back of my head: I write slow.

That truth is so hard to accept because I have been doing things fast all my life. I just can’t get myself to admit the fact that I write slow. There are so many opinions and voices in my head that I just can’t get them on paper in a quick manner. I always trip over the overload of voices that I have and struggle to not drown under all of my thoughts.

Sometimes, I write so slow that I mistake it for a writer’s block. I have so many things to say and so many ways to say them, yet I just can’t get them on paper. My fast mind quickly concludes that it is a writer’s block, frustrated at my speed. That is just about exactly why I have had a writer’s block for years now. If I sit myself and down in front of either a laptop or paper, I can manage to write. But other than homework, I haven’t been able to do that because homework steals time away from me.

Hannysarang will be like a rehab for my slow writing skills. I will either learn to accept the fact that I am a slow writer or quicken up my speed in writing. And in the process of doing so, I will have fun writing and learn to arrange my thoughts.

And then maybe, just maybe, I’ll give my sausage to the sister who was too slow. ❤

Word of the Day: amaranthine
(adj.) undying, immortal; eternally beautiful
(adj.) a deep purple-red
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3 comments

  1. Erin · August 20

    Don’t worry, Hanny 🙂 I’m a slow writer, too, and my experience is just the same as yours down to the tiny handwriting, aside from the fact that I ONLY think fast when it comes to writing. I’ve always comforted myself with the idea that slow and steady wins the race. I think it’s better to carefully lay down each word with a mind for how it fits into the bigger picture rather than churning them out like they’re nothing. It speaks of craftsmanship when you take your time! 😀
    Also, Hello from South Carolina!

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  2. liannehaak · August 23

    Hanny, I loved reading your blog. It was like having a conversation with you, and it really made me smile. I like how you started the post with a personal story, and how you built from that to create the rest of it. It’s very cleverly done. One sentence confused me a little: “However, once the time to write is over and I look up at the paper in front of me, the length of her writing is about twice as long as mine.” I wasn’t sure at first who the “her” was, at first I thought the paper and then I realized papers can’t write, so I realized it was the person sitting in front of you. Maybe rephrase to make it a little clearer? Other than that though, I was able to understand all of it. If slow writing produces wonderful work like this then keep writing slow!

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  3. Riyah H · August 27

    Hanny, this is absolutely beautiful. I love how you were able to give us insight into your life and connect a personal story to your writing experience. I can visualize the scene of you and your sisters bouncing in your seats and chopsticks dashing for the food. I can feel that tension and I think that is a wonderful captivating way to start off your writing as you drew me in straight away. It feels like you totally get me as I completely relate to this sentence: “There are so many opinions and voices in my head that I just can’t get them on paper in a quick manner.” I might not be slow at writing but I am slow at putting my thoughts together to create a satisfying end product, and have mistook that for writers block as well.
    Although in the following sentence, “I always trip over the overload of voices that I have..” is slightly confusing and awkward especially “trip over the overload” almost feels like a tongue twister. Also the 2nd sentence of the 6th paragraph is slightly off and can be altered to-“I have so many things to say [and] so many ways to say [them]..” in oder to make flow clearly.
    Do not compare yourself to others okay, your slow writing clearly produces fantastic work.
    I loved reading this piece of you. I love you and cannot wait to watch you grow.

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